Did you know that isolation is the biggest common denominator amplifying difficult impacts of mental health concerns?
Regardless of whether you have a tight-knit community like comedic sitcoms or big love stories like cult-classic movies, you are a relational being and there aren’t many areas of our lives more impactful to our wellness than our relationships. That’s why it makes such a difference to be supported in developing the skills or have facilitated spaces to work out dynamics that help you build fulfilling relationships.
Relationship counselling supports all relationships, including:
Romantic partners across relational structures, including heteronormative, queer, monogamous, and polyamorous relationships; friendships and familial relationships.
Folx often begin relationship counselling to address communication issues, engage in intentional trust building and develop relationship tools unique to your personalities and contexts.
This can include topics around intimacy, finding middle ground through conflicting points of view, and exploring ways to best support one another through difficult challenges so that each person understand the other(s) in a deeper way, feel more seen, emotionally held, and aligned with one another, all while nurturing growing connection.
Throughout the counselling process, your therapist will act as a facilitator, sometimes interrupting harmful dynamics from playing out and encouraging alternative ways of relating to show up. This helps to create a safer and more supportive environment for open communication while pointing out dynamics that they see in session as you engage with each other.
Your relationship counsellor will also offer various exercises and techniques tailored to the specific needs of the relationship, such as role-playing and guided discussions, along with relationship tools and strategies for addressing communication issues, managing conflict, and strengthening emotional bonds through activities outside of therapy.
How we work
Transformative Justice for relationships is an approach that addresses harm and conflict without relying on punitive measures. It focuses on healing, accountability, and community support. This method encourages partners, friends, and family members to look at and address the root of relational conflicts as a team, while supporting each other to take accountability for their actions, understand the impact of behaviours, and work together to create lasting change. By emphasizing open communication, empathy, and collective problem-solving, Transformative Justice helps partners, friends, and family members build stronger, more resilient relationships. It also acknowledges the broader social context of relationships, addressing systemic issues that contribute to interpersonal challenges.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) for relationships focuses on understanding the different “parts” within each partner, friend, or family member of your relationship and how they interact in the relationship dynamic. When working through communication issues, trust building, and developing relationship tools, this approach helps each partner, friend, or family member in your relationship identify and address their own internal conflicts, leading to improved self-awareness to create a solid foundation for empathy, harmony, and intimacy.
Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) for relationships emphasizes the importance of emotional connection and attachment between partners, friends, and family members. This approach helps partners, friends, and family members identify and express their underlying emotions, fostering a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and vulnerabilities. By creating a safer space for emotional exploration, EFT enables partners, friends, and family members to break negative interaction cycles and develop more secure bonds. This method is particularly effective in addressing issues related to emotional distance, conflict resolution, and trust building. Through EFT, partners, friends, and family members can learn to respond to each other’s emotional cues, effectively addressing communication issues through building various emotional response relationship tools.
The Gottman Method is a research-based approach to relationship counselling that emphasizes nine components of fulfilling and nourishing relationships, including building love maps, sharing fondness and admiration, and managing conflict constructively. This method helps relationships address communication issues, leverage trust building to increase intimacy, and develop problem-solving skills. By learning to recognize and address the “Four Horsemen” of relationship breakdown (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling), partners, friends, and family members can create a more positive and lasting connection. The Gottman Method also incorporates practical exercises and relationship tools to help support building a solid foundation for relationships.
General Considerations
As with all therapies, there are potential impacts to be aware of. General considerations specific to Relationship Counselling include temporary increases in emotional discomfort or conflict as sensitive issues are addressed. Some partners, friends, or family members might feel vulnerable or exposed during the process. There’s also a possibility that counselling could reveal incompatibilities or deep-seated issues that may lead to difficult decisions about the future of the relationship. Your therapist will help support you in navigating these impacts as you move through the relational process to find a resolution that takes into account the needs and well-being of everyone involved.
Relationship Counselling can be a standalone practice or engaged in conjunction with individual services. Our relationship counsellors have specialized training in most, if not all, of the approaches listed. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to book a free consult with one of our therapists!
Q&A
Nope! Relationship counselling can benefit any partners, friends, or family members seeking to improve communication, deepen their connection, or address specific relational goals, even if no immediate issues are present. In fact, being proactive about how your relationships are developing can help mitigate the possibility of irreparable relational breakdowns and set you up with relationship tools to support each other through whatever might come your way.
We generally don’t recommend relationship counselling if there’s no buy in from everyone involved. This is because effective relationship counselling relies on the active participation and willingness of all parties to engage in the process. Otherwise, we’ll be spending all our time trying to get someone onboard, which can lead to even more resentment and difficulty in creating and maintaining a safe enough environment for what can be a vulnerable process.
That being said, individual therapy for folx who are interested in accessing counselling can still help to improve relationship dynamics. Ultimately, relationships are systems. When one or some parts of the system changes, the rest tend to adapt and shift too.
Yes. In cases of active abuse where there are safety concerns involved, especially when folx are living with one another with no alternatives for physical distance during the process, relationship counselling can increase the likelihood of harm. In these situations, we recommend individual counselling processes with counsellors who have specific training and experience. If you are unsure whether or not your relationship constitutes as abusive, please connect with your counsellor who will help guide you through processing your particular situation.
It depends! Your particular relationship needs and goals, external events occurring in your lives, and how much time you dedicate to the work outside of session changes how long relationship counselling takes. Typically, we see our clients accessing relationship counselling ranging from a few months to over a year. Your therapist will work with you to establish a timeline that fits your situation.
Counselling is always best as a voluntary process because commitment and engagement are such important parts of the work. That being said, it doesn’t mean you can’t share information! In fact, it can make the conversation a whole lot easier when you have a starting point for discussion.
This is such a common question that we actually made a free guide for you to send directly to the person/people you’re hoping to invite into relationship counselling. Download it here.
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occupying the stolen, ancestral territories of the xʷməθkwəy̓əm (Musqueam), Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish), S’ólh Téméxw (Stó:lō), Səl̓ílwətaʔ/Selilwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh), Qayqayt, and kʷikʷəƛ̓əm (Kwikwetlem) peoples. Our relationship with these lands dictates our commitment to understanding and responding to the ongoing impacts of colonization in our practices in and out of the counselling room.
Learn more about the land you’re occupying at native-land.ca
Building strong and healthy relationships requires guidance, support, and effective communication strategies. Our Best Services Overview provides insights into various therapeutic approaches designed to help individuals and couples navigate their journey toward deeper connections.
Building reflexive and fulling relationships can be difficult without guidance, support, and effective communication strategies. Our Services Overview provides insights into various therapeutic approaches designed to help individuals and relationships navigate their journey toward deeper connections.
Suggesting relationship counselling can be so daunting! How do I start the conversation? What if I can’t address all their concerns or questions?
We’ve got you covered! Send them our comprehensive guide to relationship counselling, answering the top 20 questions we get asked on the daily.
